Facts I Haven't Fact-Checked
Banging your head against a wall
burns one hundred and fifty calories an hour –
building one, however, will burn bridges.
You cannot dream and snore at the same time –
something bad happened last night in Sweden.
Otters hold hands when they sleep,
so they don’t drift away from each other.
George W. Bush was once a cheerleader,
Trump had the most watched inauguration of all time.
Squirrels forget where they hide about half of their nuts,
and over a thousand birds a year die from
smashing into glass –
Hillary did not.
Also, a flock of crows is called a murder –
But, what about Trayvon Martin?
What about Michael Brown?
What about Eric Garner?
A group of black men is called a gang.
Every human spends about half an hour as a single cell;
Sandra Bland spent about three days in one.
Panphobia is the ‘fear of everything’,
including, but not limited to,
the persistent evil posed by those who follow the Quran –
by the way, the Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world,
and California has issued six driver’s licenses
to people named Jesus Christ.
Every year, more than two thousand five hundred
left-handed people are killed from using right-handed products.
Is it that hard to tell the difference between right and left,
right and wrong, right and left, east and west, right and wrong,
man and woman, wrong; non-binary, trans, more right, right and wrong,
gay and straight, wrong; gay, bi, ace, queer, more right; right and wrong,
black and white, wrong; less white, more right, east and west,
right and left, true and false, right and wrong –
On the 18th of February, 1979, it snowed for thirty minutes in the Sahara Desert –
right and wrong, right and wrong, right and wrong.
About the Author: Frances Tuoriniemi is a current second year undergraduate studying English and Creative Writing at the University of Birmingham. She's half-American and half-Finnish, and in this current political climate, slightly more happy with the Finnish side. This is her first time being published, but you can find more of her work on her poetry Instagram.