Letter to the First Girl I Had a Crush On
Jacqueline Gonzalez


 
Perdóname. There are things I cannot 
say. The pum-pum-pum of my heart admit  
estoy encaprichada con usted;  
 
the late-night messages flush my face red, 
glances of iridescent eyes contrast 
my deep sepia, shy smiles gone too fast. 
 
Pero Escúchame. I can’t pretend 
I didn’t want more, but I created 
a mess. Eres importante. My friend, 
 
please entiende I don’t mean to offend 
when I say mi familia didn’t raise 
me with expectations to love women— 
 
not the way we did. Family always 
comes first, so por favor let me rephrase: 
my affections stay, but I lack the grace 
to engage. Confundida. Out of place.  









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About the Author: Jacqueline Gonzalez is a Mexican-American writer from Houston, Texas. She received a BFA in Creative Writing at Stephen F. Austin State University. She likes dogs, always lets her coffee get cold, and owns too many flannel shirts. Her work has been featured in the 16th issue of Blue Route.

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