Jennifer Schomburg Kanke
You can tell it's boring derby when even the ref is yawning. It's hard to break through the pack, you know this even though you've never skated yourself.
If you did, your derby name would be Erin Breakabitch.
Don't ask to leave. Sasha fronted you the money for the ticket and Erica cleaned the wrappers and Starbucks cups out of her Audi A4 to make space for you.
You aren't the kind of girl people easily forgive. These are your new roommates, don't test them so early in the semester.
Avoid your high school classmate in the row below you. The bleachers are crowded, she might not see you.
Aren't you the one who cheated on the senior class favorites and still didn't win?
Pretend you can't hear her. She can't be talking to you.
Yeah, you're Erin Myers. You punched your best friend in the face at the homecoming dance because she said your date was an ass.
Look to make sure your friends don’t notice her.
Didn't they suspend you for stealing earrings from Susan Breamer's locker?
Focus on Erica and Sasha talking about their dream derby names. Sasha wanted Slasha earlier, but now she wants Break Your Face. Don't mention that it's not very clever. She's never been told that sort of thing before, you shouldn't be the first. Say OMG! Yes! There's a long year ahead, don't make it longer.
Tell the girl from high school she is mistaken. Use that word. It sounds smarter than wrong. You are a smart girl now.
You want more slamming and less jamming. Hellion of Troy has finally gotten around Wargasm and Great Wall of 'Gina without even so much as an elbow to the ribs. She is untouchable for a few laps then calls the jam early. You think it would be nice to be able to do that. To not only quit while you're ahead, but make everyone else quit too.
About the Author: Jennifer Schomburg Kanke’s work has appeared in Prairie Schooner, Nimrod, Fugue and Carve. Originally from Columbus, Ohio, she currently lives in Tallahassee, Florida, where she teaches creative writing and critical theory as a visiting faculty member at Florida State University. She serves as the reviews editor for Pleiades and a reader for Emrys.