If I were the End of the World
If I were the end of the world I would sit with my hands spread apart behind my head. I would tilt back in my chair and laugh the biggest laugh you ever heard. I’d lie with confidence and encourage you to do the same.
If I were the End of the World I would fold one leg over the other and place my hands in my lap. I would take up as little space as possible. I’d fold into myself over again. I’d simplify and simplify and simplify until I simply disappear.
If I were the End of the World at my stop I would want to stay on the warm and quiet bus forever, just riding. I’d text “I’m on my way” when I haven’t left the house yet. I’d say I’m sorry only after it’s too late.
If I were the End of the World I would arrive in at your doorstep in a plain paper package. I would come in a variety of colors and styles. I’d be your reward after a long day’s work. I’d be shopping online after nine pm.
If I were the End of the World I would be spoken as passive curses to people who annoy you. I wish you the calmest sex. I hope you go bald. I hope your chin becomes weak. I hope you never take a good photograph. I hope you wear plain white socks. I hope you swim and fuck in a T shirt.
If I were The End of the World I would smile and say, “Don’t worry. It will probably never happen”
If I were The End of the World I would spoil in the fridge from your carelessness.
If I were the End of the World I would turn my tires toward the street. I would understand compound interest and principal interest and 401Ks.
If I Were the End of the World I would say “Does that makes Sense?” and “Do you know what I mean?” I would doubt myself and slavishly seek your approval.
If I were the End of the World I would come in the night, when most people are sleeping. At what time are most people on Earth sleeping or praying or waking up? I’d come then.
About the author:
Rachel Khosrowshahi-Slatten lives inaudibly in Versailles, Ky with her husband and two sons